Jake Herringbone

IMAP, how I missed you!

Dear GMail,

I’m leaving you because you didn’t fulfill me the way a real mail service can. It was great that you were free, but free POP3 doesn’t fill that spot in my heart the way a paid IMAP can. Back in college, I promised to be forever faithful to IMAP, but you were sexy, and I needed a mail agent so badly, it was easy to fall for you.

This morning, I knew I made the right choice. I flipped through my mail on my phone on the way to work, and deleted some things, and when I got to my computer at my desk, the mail was deleted. My drafts and outbox are on the server too, so I can start an email on my phone and finish it later.

I know, you expect me to use your interface. I’m supposed to use my browser when we hook up. Even with beer goggles, I’m sorry to say, you weren’t hot, so I was using native mail apps whenever we talked. I can’t even tell you how frustrating it could be when my three mailboxes that you touched your POP3 would get their own separate copies of mail. I think my other friends were upset about our relationship, too, because their messages would get lost in one of the inboxes that I couldn’t keep up with.

I know, you wish I could see through the protocol to who you really are… but I can’t. I’m so sorry, and by the way, please forward my mail to my new IMAP account. That way I don’t have to tell anyone we broke up.
-Me

2 Comments to IMAP, how I missed you!

Leave a comment